I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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