Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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