so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Randomize
