So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
