Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
