Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
