HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
