Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize