I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
