maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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