I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
