How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Shame - the story of my life.
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