i think my mom watched the whole time
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
