How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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