No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
