That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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