Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
