It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
