But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
