ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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