I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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