I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
