Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
