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Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
