You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
last night I used snow as a chaser
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
