I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
