I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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