You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
