I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
