There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
