Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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