it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All the doctor said was why
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
