We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
