Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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