craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
