ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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