there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
