Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
As shirtless as possible
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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