The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
