im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Farmville is her only friend.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
