he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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