The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
