did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
