5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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