I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
