he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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