there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
