He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I need help removing her.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
