You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize