If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
