i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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