it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize