Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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