The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
