I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
