Plan B is the new Plan A
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The air taste purple.
Randomize
