the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
