But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
