ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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