I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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